Self-Guided Summer Fun

When looking for things to do in the summer months, I think of my favorite experiences and memories. Some were big, pricey events with lots of planning, and some cost next to nothing, were memorable for some reason, and were special for who I did them with.

This summer I’ll have close family visit me. Our primary goals are to spend time together and relax. Still, it’s the perfect opportunity to create an indulgent staycation for me and a fun vacation for them. They’ve already visited many times, so my goal is to do more of what we’ve enjoyed in the past and find new experiences for us to enjoy together.

It’s interesting playing tourist in my own town. Things I enjoy and may take for granted, I see differently, imagining how they seem to visitors. Many of the museum and library-sponsored events are inexpensive or by donation, and they’re happy to have people participate.  Searching social media or the web using the name of a place and “things to do” or “self-guided tours” has revealed a ton of ideas. There are plenty to choose from for artwork, history, architecture, and culturally significant places. I love self-guided tours because I can do some or all of them at my own pace. If I do it fully, great. If I only check out a couple of places on the itinerary, that’s great too.

Tours I’ve enjoyed in the past locally and in other cities have included haunted history, historical murals, low-tide ocean wildlife, and street art. Each experience teaches me something and helps me see the world around me in a new way.

I see a few tours that can meld well into plans of being outside, eating good food, and spending time together.  None require a lot of planning, and plans can change if we’re not up for something. Whatever we do, I know we’ll be glad to be together.

My Inner Cheerleader

“The reward of a thing well done is having done it.” 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sure, Ralph. Sometimes, having something done well is enough. It’s a relief to have it off the to-do list. It’s not nagging at me, and I’m not stressing about doing it anymore.

But sometimes I still need acknowledgment for my hard work. A quiet nod or smile to myself in recognition: a star or smiley face drawn in my journal.

A lot of living with Multiple Sclerosis for me is invisible, and the effort it takes to prevent or delay physical decline is huge.

Fatigue and spasticity are constant companions, yet no one else sees them. Perhaps thinking of having my inner cheerleader join us could help. She can help motivate me when I need a nudge and celebrate my efforts.

Yesterday, I used calf massagers, I stretched, hydrated, took my supplements and medications, and I went for a walk. These are all efforts to offset spasticity in my legs and try to maintain longer-term mobility and flexibility. They take time and effort, and they help. They don’t rid me of pain, though. And none of these efforts are monumental or worth shouting from the rooftops.

Bring in my inner cheerleader.

Great job, Stacie! You’re doing great! Way to do the hard stuff when you’re tired, and you don’t feel like it! You can do this!

Fatigue and spasticity, I didn’t invite you. You’re here, and you’re clearly staying. I’m bringing in a new friend to this group. Cheerleader, welcome to the party!

Singing for Wellness

Last year, my naturopath suggested I take deep breaths each day, and I agreed it would be good for me. I approached it like a prescription and made sure to do it. I followed guided meditations, and they were fine. I’d set a timer and count deep breaths in and out to meet the goal. It seemed good for me, but I didn’t love it or look forward to it.

Then I had an “aha moment.” I’ve long wanted to improve my singing, and I realized I could make progress with singing AND practice breathwork in a way I’d enjoy.

My inspiration was a music app. It would allow me to do breathwork and improve my musical knowledge and skills.  Most importantly, it could be fun. I’ve now been doing singing lessons for a few minutes each day for 22 weeks. Because I want to keep my streak, I make sure I do it every day. I love that it’s a bite-sized daily commitment, and it’s doable.

My ambition isn’t to be great. I want to learn, improve, and silence the voice in my head saying I’m awful at singing.

I also know that for me, breathwork isn’t just a good idea. I need it to offset my overactive mind, and it’s helpful to monitor how my MS symptoms are behaving.

During a difficult time some years ago, when stress was extremely high and MS symptoms were acting up, I realized my lung capacity and throat muscles weren’t operating as usual.

It took multiple and focused efforts to blow out a candle wick. I couldn’t blow up a balloon. I didn’t have enough breath to sing through some of the longer notes and verses of favorite songs. Swallowing pills was harder. They wouldn’t always go down, and it took more effort and patience to take my daily supplements. None of these things had been a problem before.

MS can hinder any ability that relies on the central nervous system. Any means of improving plasticity and creating new pathways is extra helpful.

I’m trying to improve in a lot of areas where I know MS makes me vulnerable.  My hope is to learn new skills, get stronger, and become more resilient when facing challenges. I aim to allow more room for aging and for losing abilities, so I can live as well as I can for as long as possible. It can sound depressing, and that’s why it’s even more important to me to have fun while I put effort into it.

Singing daily is making me happy, and it's
just one habit that improves my wellness now and hopefully for years to come.

Bittersweet Advocacy

I’m proud to advocate on behalf of Multiple Sclerosis issues, and I aim to normalize discussing human health experiences without shame. If we live long enough, almost all of us will experience big health issues, and learning from others is a huge help for navigating them.

I’ve participated in Bike MS, Meat Fight, Walk MS, and self-help group leadership. I write openly about my MS experience, I contribute regularly to MSAA’s blog MS Conversations, and I let my community, colleagues, and legislators know that I have MS. I’m happy to answer questions and have spoken to newly diagnosed people and family members quite a few times over the years. If I’m the only person they know with MS and they would like to chat, I’m there for them. They’ll have a unique MS experience, and I want to support them in their journey. I’m eager to encourage kinship, help where I can, and remove any cloak of shame regarding health issues.

That said... sometimes I get uncomfortable. When it feels like it’s putting me in a poster child position, I get emotional. Those are the moments when I am sad that I have MS and live a life where I have to deal with it daily.

While riding the Bike MS victory lap that celebrates and honors those of us with MS, I was proud to be there supporting the cause. I’m immensely grateful I’m doing well and can participate as an example of people living well with MS. I also got very anxious before the ride. People were looking at me, and they were cheering me on. Their kindness spurred a counterintuitive response in me.

My emotions went into overdrive with a mix of opposing feelings. I held back tears as I processed my feelings and tried to understand why it felt different from other advocacy efforts.  

Sure, I felt like I was on display, which can be discomforting, but I don’t think that was it. I think it was because I recognized the magnitude of what participating means to me. I was overwhelmed, feeling simultaneous pride for participating in a cause I support greatly and sorrow for personally needing MS-focused philanthropy to give me hope.

Just reading this last sentence aloud while reviewing and editing this post makes me emotional. MS-focused philanthropy gives me hope, and I’m sad I need it.

At the event, I was glad to participate in the ride and relieved when it was over. I liked being back among everyone supporting the cause and blending into the crowd again.

Friends with MS have expressed their happiness with how well I’m doing and have told me they appreciate my advocacy efforts. One dear friend and mentor who’d lived with MS for at least 20 years longer than I had lovingly called me a poster child for MS. She saw my efforts as giving hope and representing the cause well, and I greatly appreciate that.  I know my health is due to hard work and a lot of luck, and I hope to encourage and support others in any way I can. I also aim to learn and grow from every other person with MS I encounter.

I wasn’t unnerved when she used the term "poster child," because it was a one-on-one conversation, and I felt the love and admiration she exuded as she said it. I was honored to hold her regard, given how much she had comforted and inspired me through the years.

I’ve been living with MS and advocating for MS issues since 2008, and how I participate varies. I wish I could do more, but I consistently contribute in ways that align with my interests, abilities, energy level, and time available. There are plenty of ways to advocate, and it makes me feel good to give back to a community that has helped me so much. It’s bittersweet advocacy.

Intention & Expectations

Lately, I’ve been pausing periodically throughout each day to ask myself, “How do I want to show up today?”

It only takes a moment, just enough time for a brief inhale and exhale. It allows me to shake loose whatever thoughts are running through my mind and start fresh. I like to imagine I’m shaking a marked-up Etch-A-Sketch toy to create a clean surface ready for whatever I want to draw.

It helps me put myself in a frame of mind where I can be more compassionate toward people. I always want to be nice, but sometimes I’m too busy thinking about my own problems to notice how I’m coming across to others. 

Visible and invisible disabilities, trauma, loss, grief, turmoil, and mental health issues are abundant. The majority of people have experienced traumatic events, many people are currently living with difficult life circumstances, and some are just having a bad day. Remembering this puts me in a mindset to grant more grace when someone doesn’t behave well. 

When I ask myself how I want to show up, it helps me remember that I’m not at the mercy of circumstances and other people’s moods. It reminds me that how I act will influence how people respond to me. It helps me prepare for tough interactions and stressful situations. It’s helped me to listen more attentively, be more compassionate, and respond better when I’m not consumed by my thoughts. 

When I know I’m not at my best for whatever reason, it makes a huge difference. It shifts my focus from the thoughts in my head to my behavior, and then I have the option to intentionally influence what happens next. 

In stressful times or when I feel like others aren’t considering my needs, I know I need to work harder to avoid reacting in ways I don’t like. It doesn’t mean I need to be perfect, just responsible for my behavior. 

Aiming for perfection is impossible. I know, because I tried really hard to be perfect for a long time. It was a lesson that I needed to learn to be happier.  Perfection is amorphous and relies on what other people think. Being true to myself and behaving in ways I’m proud of in most moments are possible goals. They also just so happen to be behaviors that tend to be appreciated by others. 

There have been times when I’ve half-jokingly said, “Most days I try to get along with everyone else, and today was their turn to get along with me.” It’s a way for me to grant myself grace when I wish I’d done better, and it’s an opportunity for me to do better next time.

Vision & Values

I created a vision board years ago that included images of women doing yoga poses I couldn’t do. I attended yoga classes weekly, and I loved how it combined calming breath work with some of the gymnastics, athleticism, and flexibility that my Multiple Sclerosis issues had curtailed.

I placed the collage vision board near my makeup vanity, and I didn’t put a lot of effort into tracking it. About a year later, I looked up, and I was startled to realize I could do all the poses on my vision board! Without realizing it, I slowly worked my way toward poses that seemed completely out of reach a year prior. Dancer, feathered peacock, and crane pose had become regular movements in my yoga practice without any periodic notice or celebration. With this realization, my glee absolutely overflowed.

Looking back, I think about how dreaming and acknowledging my aspirations, combined with regularly showing up to yoga class, were the key. They helped me achieve things I hadn’t been convinced I would ever do. 

While it sounds like it was simple and potentially easy, it took a lot of juggling to make sure I made it to class each week. The competing demands of adulting made it hard to do something that seemed like it only benefited my physical health and ego. It cost money that could have gone to savings or other things. There were always more demands at work and home. MS fatigue reared up often, and the desire to do nothing was enticing. It was emotionally taxing to repeatedly choose to make yoga class a priority. Work and other people were always wanting more, and my body never seemed to get enough rest. Those were the days I intentionally evolved from always putting work first to balancing it with my personal well-being. 

Since my MS diagnosis 18 years ago, I’ve become firm in my resolve to put health as a high priority. I’ve made progress, yet I still find myself having internal debates.  I’ll assume judgment from others and mentally prepare detailed justifications for putting my emotional and physical health before work, relationships, and other commitments. I know I’m replaying perspectives from my youth. I learned that work ethic was the highest goal, and sacrifice was admirable. Let me be clear, no one else is saying any of this to me. I pre-empt any questions or conversation by providing my reasoning. I’ll explain why I’m making a choice that doesn’t align with work first, family second, everything else except me third, and personal needs last. While my reasons are potentially unnecessary for the people I’m telling, it’s good for me to say them out loud. I also reason that it’s good to model healthy behaviors and encourage others who wrestle with this issue. 

Inconvenience reveals our values. I want colleagues, friends, family, and everyone to monitor their health and say no when needed. Sure, it takes surging efforts and problem-solving skills to figure out how to navigate unforeseen absences or changes in plans. Yet I always want people to be where they need to be when they need to be there.  

I think being responsible shouldn’t be defined as always sticking to a plan. It’s having backup plans, sharing knowledge, building teamwork, preparing others to be able to get by, and helping out when others need it, if plans have to change. It’s knowing when it’s time to shift plans as a group effort to accommodate the well-being of ourselves and others. Our collective health and happiness rely on each of us to incorporate and accommodate our individual needs where possible. 

Taking time to dream of what can be, in any aspect of life, is a great first step toward achieving better things. Envisioning what’s possible and living our values makes for a path worth traveling. 

2025 Year in Review Through Bingo

December is the perfect time to reflect on how the past year measured up to hopes and goals. In January, I created a 2025 Bingo card that reflected various priorities I have.  It proved useful and motivating as I checked in throughout the year. In November, I created a second Bingo card for the holidays that featured more self-care items, and it added a lot of value to my life. I didn’t complete every item on either of the Bingo cards, but I did a lot more of them than I think I would have without them. 

Things I accomplished this year:

1. Dry January – 30 Days no alcohol
2. Read three books - this one I exceeded greatly with the help of my local library
3. Virtual painting party & complete a paint-by-numbers: This was a really fun project. I had a paint-by-numbers created from a photograph of my sisters and me. I gifted it to each of them for Christmas last year, and the plan was to have a virtual painting party, complete with berets and a photo op. It was a lot of fun, and now I have a really cool painting of us!
4. Strength training 12 times in 30 days – this one took until November-December to finish. While I did strength training all year, I usually did it twice a week. Having the Bingo card motivated me to add some extra sessions. 
5. Bake something – I made a lemon meringue pie for a friend and cookies. It was fun to brush up on some old skills and enjoy the results.
6. Visit a new place in my state & celebrate my birthday with a weekend getaway – this combined two Bingo tasks, and I smile just thinking about the incredible scenery and hiking I experienced at Mount Rainier National Park. 
7. Set up a home office – This one was intended to help me have more flexibility and be prepared when things don’t go as planned. I’m glad to have a space and setup that is ready to use.
8. Travel outside my state – I accomplished this one twice this year, and it was fulfilling to visit with friends and family. 
9. Write 10 blog posts – I’ve done 11 so far, and this one will be the 12th of the year. When I started blogging in 2013, my goal was to write ten posts annually. I’ve met or exceeded that number each year, and this post is #173. 
10. Bike ten miles – I thought I’d do this one outside, but it didn’t happen. I did bike inside on my stationary bike for more than ten miles in a workout, and I’m counting it. Just because it didn’t go as originally envisioned doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthy!
11. Make a quilt – I’ve done quite a few over the years, and this one was really special.
12. Reconnect with an old friend – a dear friend invited me to a community event recently, and it was a joy to catch up! I didn’t initiate it, but we made it happen!

There are more squares with tasks that are yet to be done, but I did get three Bingos in each of my cards so far. I also have time and might finish some more before year end. 

My key takeaways from this project are:

• Setting some broad goals without explicit requirements allowed me to be creative. 
• I intentionally chose items that would support overall well-being. They captured physical and mental health, creativity, travel, connection, and professional development. 
• Looking at the Bingo card monthly kept me focused, and it motivated me to put extra effort in certain areas throughout the year. 
• Without this, I don’t think I would have accomplished as much as I did. 
• This project has been one way for me to celebrate wins and see where I have more difficulty. I don’t feel bad about what didn’t get done when I see them next to what I did accomplish. 
• The items that didn’t get done might have been partially done or have some good reasons for not getting completed. If they’re important to me, I can put them on my 2026 Bingo card. 

Whether you create your own Bingo card or just list items that appeal to you, checking in throughout the year can help you decide what really matters to you. Some goals may change or drop off, and some may prove to be tremendous sources of joy. As this year ends and 2026 begins, I hope you have all you need to find joy and fulfillment. Cheers!