I learned about Black Swan events recently
as they relate to investing. Multiple Sclerosis symptoms and progression seem
to me to be personal Black Swan events. Nassim Nicholas Taleb developed the theory
based on the history of black swans being thought of as an impossibility. It was a known fact that they didn’t exist. So
when black swans were discovered it was a surprise and significant, and in
hindsight black swans seemed like something that people could have predicted or
should have expected.
Being diagnosed with MS was an enormous
Black Swan event in my life. Suddenly the extreme fatigue, numbness and bowel
issues that held no explanation for many years were obviously indications that
something was wrong with my body. The signs were there, but I didn’t recognize
them as related to each other or of any significance. Given how much these
symptoms impacted my life, hindsight makes me seem foolish for not connecting
them to a major health issue.
Most recently, my feet started buckling more
frequently with a frustrating experience of losing the ability to walk
temporarily. It surprised me. It made me
realize that MS is affecting my legs much more than I’d thought. And in hindsight I remember all of the dismissible
moments when my feet would buckle. There
were times when one foot would stop supporting me while standing among friends.
Other times while walking, one foot would shift so that I lost my footing on
flat ground and needed to catch myself. I just thought they were odd, one-off
unexplainable experiences. Now I
recognize them as a very common MS symptom that I already knew about -
spasticity. What is obvious to me now seems like it should have been obvious to
me then. In my defense, the frequency and impact previously had been low. Since they’ve increased, I see a pattern
and progression.
Now that I know what’s happening, I can work
with my doctor to try to offset how my body is behaving. I’m continuing to do stretching,
strengthening and movement activities, and I’m adding medication, massage and physical
therapy. My shoe choices are also changing to reduce embarrassment and possible
injury. It’ll take time and effort to
see if I can change the course of how MS affects me.
It’s like reading a book or watching a movie
where all will be revealed at the end.
I’m living in the middle of my story, and by the end the mysteries of my
body will be pieced together, explained and understood.
