One thing to remember about New Year’s resolutions: They are not required. If you don’t want to make any, don’t. I like them for the feeling of a fresh start and hope for a better future, but I also know that I need to be ready before I make a change. If I try before I’m ready, it will end with feelings of failure and guilt.
Coming out of the holiday season, I recognize I did a lot, and I don’t feel like I took enough time to rest and recharge. Now it’s January, there are many things to do, and I’m not feeling completely ready. I’ve been too busy getting things done each day to take a step back and look longer term.
My first step for the year is to grant myself grace. I’ve scheduled time to reflect, and I aim to decide what I want to do this coming year.
Instead of jumping to the step of deciding what to change, I want to take time to consider last year and how I’m doing. These questions help me evaluate my life as it is now:
- What did I love about last year? Why?
- What was challenging or annoying? Why was it hard?
- What did I learn? How can that lesson help me in the future?
- Where in my life did I improve or lapse? Why do I think it changed?
- Was there anything I needed or wanted that I didn’t have? Is it possible to have them? If so, how would it be possible? If not, do I need them?
- How does answering these questions make me feel?
When distinguishing between what I need to do and what I want to do, I often think of the 1999 movie, “Office Space,” where the main character hates his job and decides not to go to work anymore. He doesn’t much care for paying bills either. He’s just not going to do them anymore. When asked if he’ll quit his job, he says no, he’s just not going to go anymore. It works out for him, hilariously and brilliantly.
It wouldn’t for us, but the ridiculousness of it is a good lesson. There are things we categorize as mandatory, but really, we just don’t want the consequences not doing them might bring. We still get to choose, although they seem like no-brainer decisions. I’m very aware that health issues severely limit options, so please know this distinction between need and want applies differently for each person. Take it or leave it as it helps you in your own life.
For me, it helps to remember I’m not required to live the life I’m living. The things I love about my life are worth cultivating, and the challenging things deserve attention. I have choices. Knowing that, I look at how I answered the questions above, and it opens up the range of options available.
There have been years when I needed to make really big changes, and some took a long time before I was ready to make them. All of them have led to me living a life I love more than the one I was living. I like the me I’ve become, and I’m excited to keep learning, growing, and evolving. As far as any resolutions go for this this year, I’ll make them when I’m ready.
