Sunday, February 19, 2023

Holding On & Letting Go

A dear friend of mine is nearing the end of her earthly life. I’m grieving her pending departure, and I’m immensely grateful to have known and loved her. 

As this year began, I intended to center myself with “Letting Go” as my theme for 2023. I envisioned letting go of belongings and beliefs that no longer serve me.  Things like clothes, knick-knacks, and the hurts some people have caused me.  I didn’t foresee letting go of people I love. 

 

I will cling tightly to her friendship, lessons she taught me, and memories of time together. I will fiercely hang on to her with complete support and love. I aim to experience this time fully in all its bittersweet glory.

 

I know this also includes letting her go and fully supporting her in letting go. I aim to respect, accept and advocate as she wishes. I don’t want to make it harder for her, and I’ll try to not make our interactions about losing her. I’ll attempt to couch my sadness with appreciation. She lived gorgeously and supportively, and she will continue to live on long after her passing in me and many, many others.

 

As I cherish and celebrate her, I’ll share she was among the first people I met with Multiple Sclerosis almost 15 years ago when I was newly diagnosed with MS. She was one of the people I needed to navigate my own health challenges.  She was a mentor, confidante and cheerleader.  In her I saw resiliency, humor, love and acknowledgment for how hard MS can be.  She gave me hope and a model to follow.

 

She was diagnosed prior to MS disease modifying medications. She volunteered and was selected for a lottery to use one of the first medications available in studies.  Today many people with MS live with fewer relapses and less disease progression due to people like my friend who took the chance. Each generation has a better prognosis due to the collective efforts of the generations before them.  

 

My friend spearheaded creation of the local MS Self-Help group where I met her.  I watched her lead meetings with compassion, share insight, suggest options, and facilitate conversations with grace to ensure all attendees had their needs met. Her patience is unyielding and truly inspirational.

 

Today, I live better for the wisdom she imparted and leadership she quietly and compassionately provided. I’m better for knowing her, and I hold tightly to all she means to me. She is securely and forever held in my heart and spirit.



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